It would probably be interesting to many to describe the marriage ceremonies observed by different nations, but to enter into a descriptive detail would occupy too much space. It is sufficient to say that while some wives are wooed and won, others are bought and sold; while in some countries the husband brings the wife to his home, in others, as in Formosa, the daughter brings her husband to her father's house, and he is considered one of the family, while the sons, upon marriage, leave the family forever.
In civilized countries, the ceremonies are either ministerial or magisterial, and are more or less religious in character; while in others, less civilized, the gaining of a wife depends upon a foot-race, in which the female has the start of one-third the distance of the course, as is the custom in Lapland. In Caffraria, the lover must first fight himself into the affections of his ladylove, and if he defeats all his rivals she becomes his wife without further ceremony. Among the Congo tribes, a wife is taken upon trial for a year, and if not suited to the standard of taste of the husband, he returns her to her patents. In Persia, the wife's status depends upon her fruitfulness; if she be barren, she can be put aside. In the same country they have also permanent marriages and marriages for a certain period only—the latter never allowed to exceed ninety years.
In fact, the marriage ceremonies differ in nearly all countries. To us some may appear very absurd, and yet our customs may be just as amazing to them. It matters but little how a conjugal union is effected so long as sanctioned by law or custom and it obligates the parties, by common opinion, to observe the duties pertaining to married life.
The first requisite of congenial marriage is love. Without being cemented by this element the conjugal union is sure to be uncongenial. It is the strongest bond, the firmest cord, uniting two hearts inseparably together. Love for the opposite sex has always been a controlling influence with mankind. It is the most elevating of all the emotions and the purest and tenderest of all sentiments. It exerts a wonderful power, and by its influence the grandest human actions have been achieved. Of what infinite worth it is to either sex to be compensated with a worthy and satisfying love, and how ennobling to the impulses and actions it is to bestow the sentiment upon one worthy to receive and willing to return.
Another consideration is evenness of temper. In the wooing days everyone is a lamb, and only becomes the howling wolf after marriage. Circumstances that ruffle the temper in the presence of the intended are but like the harmless squib, but would become like the explosive torpedo in his or her absence or in after-marriage. Quarreling caused by matrimonial differences is the most frequent cause of infelicity, and most of it is caused by an innate irate temper of either husband or wife.
The tastes should not be dissimilar. Some of them may be unimportant, but others are a fruitful source of disagreement. The social wife will never be contented with the unsocial husband, and the gay husband, though his gayety may not be commendable, will always accuse his wife if she lacks a social disposition to a great extent. The religious wife will never excuse a tendency to irreligion in her husband, and though he may be far from being immoral, she is unhappy if he does not participate in her devotions. The one devoted to children will never be happy with one having a natural repugnance for them. In this way we might multiply facts illustrative of the importance of an investigation into the similarity of taste previous to marriage. Great love, however, overcomes almost every obstacle.
In civilized countries, the ceremonies are either ministerial or magisterial, and are more or less religious in character; while in others, less civilized, the gaining of a wife depends upon a foot-race, in which the female has the start of one-third the distance of the course, as is the custom in Lapland. In Caffraria, the lover must first fight himself into the affections of his ladylove, and if he defeats all his rivals she becomes his wife without further ceremony. Among the Congo tribes, a wife is taken upon trial for a year, and if not suited to the standard of taste of the husband, he returns her to her patents. In Persia, the wife's status depends upon her fruitfulness; if she be barren, she can be put aside. In the same country they have also permanent marriages and marriages for a certain period only—the latter never allowed to exceed ninety years.
In fact, the marriage ceremonies differ in nearly all countries. To us some may appear very absurd, and yet our customs may be just as amazing to them. It matters but little how a conjugal union is effected so long as sanctioned by law or custom and it obligates the parties, by common opinion, to observe the duties pertaining to married life.
THE BASIS OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE.
The state of conjugal union should be the happiest in the whole of the existence of either man or woman, and is such in a congenial marriage. Yet in the history of very many marriages contentment or happiness is palpably absent and an almost insufferable misery is the heritage of both parties. It is therefore important that previous to the marital union the parties should take everything into consideration that fore-shadows happiness after marriage, as well as everything calculated to despoil conjugal felicity.The first requisite of congenial marriage is love. Without being cemented by this element the conjugal union is sure to be uncongenial. It is the strongest bond, the firmest cord, uniting two hearts inseparably together. Love for the opposite sex has always been a controlling influence with mankind. It is the most elevating of all the emotions and the purest and tenderest of all sentiments. It exerts a wonderful power, and by its influence the grandest human actions have been achieved. Of what infinite worth it is to either sex to be compensated with a worthy and satisfying love, and how ennobling to the impulses and actions it is to bestow the sentiment upon one worthy to receive and willing to return.
LOVE IS THE MAINSPRING
that regulates the harmony of conjugal life, and without it there is a void in the machinery, productive only of jars, convulsive movement, and a grating and inharmonious action. The soul yearns for love and to love, and unless the desire is compensated human life is a blank and becomes a purposeless existence. Love ever stimulates the good and suppresses the bad, if kept in a proper channel and guided by pure affections.
Another requisite of a happy marriage is health. No person has a moral right to engage in wedlock who cannot bring to his partner the offering of good health.Another consideration is evenness of temper. In the wooing days everyone is a lamb, and only becomes the howling wolf after marriage. Circumstances that ruffle the temper in the presence of the intended are but like the harmless squib, but would become like the explosive torpedo in his or her absence or in after-marriage. Quarreling caused by matrimonial differences is the most frequent cause of infelicity, and most of it is caused by an innate irate temper of either husband or wife.
The tastes should not be dissimilar. Some of them may be unimportant, but others are a fruitful source of disagreement. The social wife will never be contented with the unsocial husband, and the gay husband, though his gayety may not be commendable, will always accuse his wife if she lacks a social disposition to a great extent. The religious wife will never excuse a tendency to irreligion in her husband, and though he may be far from being immoral, she is unhappy if he does not participate in her devotions. The one devoted to children will never be happy with one having a natural repugnance for them. In this way we might multiply facts illustrative of the importance of an investigation into the similarity of taste previous to marriage. Great love, however, overcomes almost every obstacle.
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