MY DEAR LIZZIE,
I have just received the pleasing intelligence of your marriage with
one so worthy of your trust and affection. Of course, you are very
happy; for there is no more perfect happiness for a young and loving
woman than to centre her heart's best feelings upon one being—to
feel her destiny bound up in his—to become, as it were, a very part
of his life. Perhaps, at such a time, my dear girl, it may seem
unkind to throw the least shadow over the bright sky of your
happiness; but I cannot refrain from giving you some little advice
now, at the outset of your new life.
You are looking forward—are you not?—with perfect confidence to
the future. You think that the sea upon which you are launched, will
ever remain calm and untroubled as now; that you will go on for ever
thus, joyous and happy—thus, free from care and sorrow; but, Oh,
remember, there is no sunshine that is not clouded over sometimes;
no stream so smooth as to be always undisturbed. Then, make up your
mind to have cares, perplexities, and trials, such as have never
troubled you before; and be prepared to meet them.
As yet, you are to your husband the same perfect being that you were
before marriage, free from all that is wrong—your follies even
regarded as delightful. You are now placed upon a pedestal—a very
goddess; but, believe me, you must soon descend to take your place
among mortals, and well for you if you can do it
gracefully. Believe
me, dearest, I have no wish to sadden your spirit—only to prepare
it for the trials which must come to perplex it.
You must learn to have your faults commented upon, one by one, and
yet be meek and patient under reproach. You must learn to have those
sayings which you have heard praised as witticisms, regarded as mere
nonsense, You must learn to yield even when you seem to be in the
right; to give up your will even when your husband seems obstinate
and unreasonable; to be chided when you expected praise, and have
your utmost endeavors to do rightly regarded as mere duties. But,
be not cast down by this dark side of the picture. You will be
happier, spite of all these trials, than you have ever been, if you
only resolve to be firm in the path of duty; to strive to do well
always; to return a kind answer for a harsh word, and, above all, to
control your temper. There may be times when this may seem
impossible; but always remember that one angry word provokes
another, and that thus the beautiful gem of wedded affection is
tarnished, until what seemed to be the purest gold is found only
gilded brass. Amiability is the most necessary of all virtues in a
wife, and perhaps the most difficult of all others to retain.
Pray fervently for a meek forbearing spirit; cherish your kindly
impulses, and leave the rest to your Father in Heaven.
I shall, if you like, write you again upon this subject. You know I
have been wedded long enough to have had some little experience, and
if it can benefit you, you are welcome to it.
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